just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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