420 ftw
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize