Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize