So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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