Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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