next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
