Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
