What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize