margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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