I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
