I'm so fucking centered right now
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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