I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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