The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
