After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize