he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
