What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Are we still banned from the library?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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