I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize