"it" just moved
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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