I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
