I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
