You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
