That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
