Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize