I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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