I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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