You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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