im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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