I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
