I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
pray to the hookup gods
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
