awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
