Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
