just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
