So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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