waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
