yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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