so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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