that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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