i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
