brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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