i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
