Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
A+ Viking dick
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
