ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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