You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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