Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
