the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
