Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
