jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
