First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
