my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
