Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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