I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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