i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
