Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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