haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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