You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
