I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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