i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
