I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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